I thought for sure I knew what I wanted to do with my life back in the eighth grade. I was going to be a writer. A sportswriter.

I enjoy the creative side of writing. The imaginative side. The solidarity. In a small way, I liked that people would read my work.

I put all my energy, effort and heart into becoming a professional writer. I worked as a journalist for seven years at three newspapers. I loved the job most days. Oftentimes, I find myself dreaming of a return to those times again.

But reality always gets in the way. There was a reason – or a few reasons – I left that profession. The hours were long. The pay was miniscule. I worked most holidays, weekends, and nights. Newspapers were dying. I was burned out.

A good friend who is a plumber in Amherst, NY suggested that I look into plumbing as a profession when I was eyeing an exit from of newspapers. Sometimes I wish I had taken his advice. I went to grad school instead.

I have a job now with great pay, benefits and time off – the types of things I couldn’t imagine while working in the newspaper businesses. Millions would kill for what I have.

Yet, most days I find myself unfulfilled. The money, the benefits, the time … they don’t matter all that much. Sure, they’re pretty important to supporting yourself and family, but they don’t bring you happiness.

Doing what you love brings you true contentment. Problem is, I’m not exactly sure what my love is.

I know that I don’t like being tied to a desk eight hours a day. I don’t like constant interaction with colleagues. I don’t like meetings.

I like experiencing something different and new every day. I don’t have that right now.

Being a plumber could work, I suppose. There is solidarity. There is the reward of helping someone in need. There are different environments and new jobs every day.

My plumber friend loves what he does. He enjoys going to work. He gets paid well, too.

The introvert in me yearns for something else. I like to blend in. I like to hide. I don’t like to be seen. I like to come and go without anyone noticing. I like being behind the scenes.

I know this is neither about my wife or soon-to-be son, but it is an important component of my life. Our jobs become our lives. Sometimes I feel that way about mine. I bring work home. I wish I didn’t.

I wish I could be a better person for my family. Getting there is the challenge.